DOSE:

repeated

insufflated

Ketamine

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

70 kg

This account will detail how I majorly messed up dosing my K, reached the absolute limits of what people describe as a K-hole, and ended up having the most profound experience of my life so far.

As anyone who's experienced such extreme levels of detachment from one's self and reality will tell you, there is simply no explaining what this journey actually feels like. It is much easier to detail and explain high-dose LSD or psilocybin trips, but dissociatives like ketamine are a whole other beast that defies description. I will do my best to use words to illustrate the experience, but know that it is nowhere near enough. Even my own memories of the experience cannot hold a candle to what actually transpired.

This was my second time ever doing ketamine.

Part I: The Come-Up

One Sunday, I woke up and decided I wanted to do some K. I didn't have a scale yet, so I just eyeballed the dose, probably the biggest mistake I could have made. Around 2pm, I crushed some of it into a fine powder, made a few lines, and started snorting it. I didn't get any major drip this time, unlike my first time, so I thought I must have hit it just right. I did around six or seven lines, I think, and after three minutes, I could already feel it hitting me. This hadn't happened this fast before. I attributed this to not messing up the snorting part and it being absorbed faster in my sinuses. After ten minutes, I did a few more lines.

I started feeling very sedated at this point. I couldn't stand up anymore, so I sat down on my couch. After another couple of minutes, I felt I couldn't even sit up on the couch, so I put two pillows on one side and lay down, making sure to rest my head properly and securely on those pillows. At this point, my girlfriend came over and sat on the other side of the couch, putting my legs on top of hers and holding them. This made me feel more secure, I had a nice position laying down, and my girl was there for me.

Part II: The Abyss

After another couple of minutes, I started getting further and further away. I could feel myself floating away from the couch, in a backwards motion from my body. I felt myself getting smaller and smaller, taking up less and less space. At this point, the room was wobbly and spinning around, so it was easier for my brain to just keep my eyes closed. Closing my eyes was different this time, it felt like I closed the curtains on this world and left it to go someplace else. Usually, when you close your eyes, you still have a sense of where you are, where your body lies, and the space around you, but for me, all of this had gone out the window by this point. I felt myself shrinking into nothingness after closing my eyes. I started to realize that I had majorly messed up and took way more K than I intended to. I said so to my girl: "I fucked up." After the trip, she told me I kept repeating that line over and over again.

At this point, the fact that I had a body was no longer a fact, but a distant idea in my head. "I have a body," I kept telling myself. I could still feel myself breathing, and that sense encompassed my entire being. My entire world became the breath, the notion of air going in and out of something, flowing. I still had a mild sense of self, however, I knew that I was a human deep down somewhere, and I was very scared I would stop breathing and die at this point. I thought this was it, I was going to die and pass over to whatever is on the other side. I told my girlfriend this, muttering. It must have sounded very strange to her because my speech was very slurred at this point.

The actually scary part came right after, very fast. I was already in a state of dissociation with my body and reality, but the ideas of my body, my girlfriend, and the apartment still lingered in my mind. I had to remind myself of them, but they were still tangible. But those ideas rapidly started to disappear as well. I felt like falling into something, but there was no concept of what that "thing" was, it was simply pure nothingness. I lost all track of time and space, I forgot who I was, where I was, what I used to be before any of this. My fear of death ceased because I simply forgot I was ever alive, or what the concept of being "alive" even meant.

For a period of time that seemed endless, I did not exist. There was no "me" left, just the infinite void of oblivion and non-existence. There was no memory of me ever having been alive or dead, this place was further along than death. The closest thing you can imagine to describe this is the millions and millions of years before you were born: you were not alive, and you were not even dead because you had never lived. You were simply nothing, even as a concept you did not exist. The universe had no memory of you.

From an outsider's perspective, this profound period might have seemed to last only a couple of minutes, a couple of minutes where I was completely unresponsive, motionless, non-communicative, and detached from any sense of reality. For most of this two-hour journey, I could still distantly hear my girlfriend's voice, as well as the music playing in the background, but in this part of the trip, I was completely alone in the null space, outside of time, unable to hear, touch, smell, see anything, or process any thought whatsoever.

Part III: The Return

I knew that part of the journey was special because it only lasted a short period of time. After I came out of the total void, I regained my sense of hearing, so I could again hear the music.

For the next half hour, I was completely unable to move. My body felt completely empty, like I was simply existing on the couch without actually occupying a body. When my girlfriend touched my hands or body, I felt it very faintly, like she was touching a balloon that was in turn touching me, it felt otherworldly. My sense of self was completely destroyed. I didn't feel I had a face at all. I asked her to touch my face, and it felt like she touched something that wasn't actually my own face, maybe it was someone else's, I thought. I was calm at this point compared to the beginning of the journey because I knew I would not die. I started regaining a sense of self. I started remembering what was actually going on, I had taken something and ended up like this, I thought.

An hour later, I slowly started feeling my body again. My senses became more concrete. Sounds started to be connected to things in the real world, before, they used to just float in my head, with no concept of where they were coming from. I could feel my girlfriend's touch properly. I could open my eyes and was actually able to understand what I was seeing. I started to leave the dissociated state and felt I was a person again with physical presence. I felt gravity again! What a relief it was to feel gravity again.

In total, this experience lasted two hours. After those two hours passed, I was able to stand up and walk with some effort and help. It took another couple of hours after that to completely feel grounded and like myself again and get back the sense of hunger and thirst. I waited a few hours more, and then I sat down and started writing this account of my experience.

I do not know how much K I took. My first K experience was a much smaller dose because I had only felt sedation and some level of detachment from my body, but never complete dissociation.. not even close. So, unintentionally ending up in a K-hole level trip definitely scared the shit out of me when I realized what was happening and felt myself going further and further down into the bottomless abyss of the self.

Always weigh your K, folks, and always have someone next to you if you're taking large amounts of K. You do not want to K-hole alone, trust me.

Exp Year: 2025	ExpID: 119326
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 30
Published: Dec 2, 2025	Views: Not Supported
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